Year 2014

Can't believe it's finally 2014. Time flies huh? Well, 2013 has been well, I guess. It's not that great, but at the same time it's not that bad. It has its ups and downs. Well, now that it's 2014, obviously I have my new year's resolution(s). And yeah, for the first time in like ever, I actually thought about it. Thought about how I want to live this upcoming year. Thought about who I want to be. Not like as in be what I want as an ambition, but who I want to be generally. Honestly, I don't want to be what I was in 2013. I'm sick, disgusted, and disappointed in her. I really don't want to be that girl anymore. This year, I don't want to cry. No matter how the tears threaten to spill, no matter how it stung, I don't want to let it. This year, I don't want to open up. I mean, it's not like anyone would've cared, but if anyone actually asks, I don't think I want to open up anymore. I can't do it anymore. I don't want to feel like trash. Because I know, somehow, no matter how they say they cared, those who asked never actually cared. It's sad, really. I thought I had someone to turn to at one point of time. But then I realised, who am I to them, making them listen to me, listen to the crap I had to go through. This year, I just want to stop caring. Heck, if I could have no emotions this year it would've been better. Better for me and better for everyone else. But let's not go into that so much because most importantly, this year, I will work harder on my studies. O' level year man, no jokes. I want to get into a JC and enter University and maybe, by then life would get better. Yeah, initially I wanted to go to poly, but for a girl like me, the only way out is that path. That painful, stressful path. But hey, good things happen to those who waits right? Yeah, I'm a big believer to that line. So yeah, those are my resolutions for now. I don't know yet, maybe there's more to come. But for now, that's all. Goodnight <3